The most effective people rarely speak first
If you’ve ever felt the impact of someone's words, witnessing that moment when the dynamics of a conversation shift as a killer question gets asked and a room full of smart people suddenly realise that the assumptions they have been making are flawed, then you might have been surprised to note that it was the person sitting and listening quietly who had the power to move the room.
that leads people to speak too early and too often, it erodes the value they add and when your company's culture sees it as positive, all those extra words and shallow thoughts will ultimately slow you down.
In business we tend to equate speed with intelligence, the faster someone answers, the quicker they step up to take action, the more vocal they are, the smarter and more capable they must be.
The quiet people are by contrast seen as less capable, they may be thought to move slower and get less done. But this reflex to fill the silence is a compulsion that leads people to speak too early and too often, it erodes the value they add and when your company's culture sees it as positive, all those extra words and shallow thoughts will ultimately slow you down.
Listening is a key skill
Really listening to what people are saying and thinking carefully about it, testing it in your mind with questions, allowing others to share perspectives and letting conversations play out, allows you to gather information and thoughtfully process it, while mapping out the assumptions being made and challenging the narrative in your own mind before you speak.
Words matter because they are nuanced and it is only when you listen carefully that you hear what is actually being said.
One of the ways you can be most effective is to spot these nuances and clarify what is actually being said - this helps you to validate assumptions being made subconsciously and can be useful for helping to avoid any misunderstanding and potential gaps.
Getting comfortable with silence
We are inherently uncomfortable with silence. If there is a pause in the discussion for just a few seconds then someone will feel the urge to fill it.
Silence is powerful because it allows people to pause and process, it can encourage others who have found it difficult to interject to add their ideas, while silence also speaks to a lack of an answer - which is important to understand and not something to be afraid of.
When we move to fill silence we gloss over the fact that we don’t know, we lock out other voices, we remove processing time and we can limit value.
The most powerful words often come from those who speak least
If you can sit and listen, observing the conversation and processing what is being said, when you do speak your words will be more powerful and valuable, because you will be making a worthwhile intervention rather than just talking for the sake of being seen to talk.
Being quiet is not a lack of capability, it is a superpower that creates room for others and makes for richer discussion and results in better outcomes.
